charlesmmacaulay:

endless list of favourite books
↳ The Secret History by Donna Tartt

“Why does that obstinate little voice in our heads torment us so? Could it be because it reminds us that we are alive, of our mortality, of our individual souls – which, after all, we are too afraid to surrender but yet make us feel more miserable than any other thing? It is a terrible thing to learn as a child that one is a being separate from the world, that no one and no thing hurts along with one’s burned tongues and skinned knees, that one’s aches and pains are all one’s own. Even more terrible, as we grow older, to learn that no person, no matter how beloved, can ever truly understand us. Our own selves make us most unhappy, and that’s why we’re so anxious to lose them, don’t you think?”

charlesmmacaulay:

endless list of favourite books

The Secret History by Donna Tartt

“Why does that obstinate little voice in our heads torment us so? Could it be because it reminds us that we are alive, of our mortality, of our individual souls – which, after all, we are too afraid to surrender but yet make us feel more miserable than any other thing? It is a terrible thing to learn as a child that one is a being separate from the world, that no one and no thing hurts along with one’s burned tongues and skinned knees, that one’s aches and pains are all one’s own. Even more terrible, as we grow older, to learn that no person, no matter how beloved, can ever truly understand us. Our own selves make us most unhappy, and that’s why we’re so anxious to lose them, don’t you think?”

2 days ago with notes (475)    via (root)



"I think one thing you can do to help your friends who are depressed is to reach out to them not in the spirit of helping, but in the spirit of liking them and wanting their company. “I’m here to help if you ever need me” is good to know, but hard to act on, especially when you’re in a dark place. Specific, ongoing, pleasure-based invitations are much easier to absorb. “I’m here. Let’s go to the movies. Or stay in and order takeout and watch some dumb TV.” “I’m having a party, it would be really great if you could come for a little while.” Ask them for help with things you know they are good at and like doing, so there is reciprocity and a way for them to contribute. “Will you come over Sunday and help me clear my closet of unfashionable and unflattering items? I trust your eye.” “Will you read this story I wrote and help me fix the dialogue?” “Want to make dinner together? You chop, I’ll assemble.” “I am going glasses shopping and I need another set of eyes.” Remind yourself why you like this person, and in the process, remind them that they are likable and worth your time and interest.

Talk to the parts of the person that aren’t being eaten by the depression. Make it as easy as possible to make and keep plans, if you have the emotional resources to be the initiator and to meet your friends a little more than halfway. If the person turns down a bunch of invitations in a row because (presumably) they don’t have the energy to be social, respect their autonomy by giving it a month or two and then try again. Keep the invitations simple; “Any chance we could have breakfast Saturday?” > “ARE YOU AVOIDING ME BECAUSE YOU’RE DEPRESSED OR BECAUSE YOU HATE ME I AM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOU.” “I miss you and I want to see you” > “I’m worried about you.” A depressed person is going to have a shame spiral about how their shame is making them avoid you and how that’s giving them more shame, which is making them avoid you no matter what you do. No need for you to call attention to it. Just keep asking. “I want to see you” “Let’s do this thing.” “If you are feeling low, I understand, and I don’t want to impose on you, but I miss your face. Please come have coffee with me.” “Apology accepted. ApologIES accepted. So. Gelato and Outlander?”"

#613: How do I reach out to my friends who have depression? | Captain Awkward

P.S. A lot of people with depression and other mental illnesses have trouble making decisions or choosing from a bunch of different options. “Wanna get dinner at that pizza place on Tuesday night?” is a LOT easier to answer than “So wanna hang out sometime? What do you want to do?”

(via startrekrenegades)

2 days ago with notes (29840)    via (root)



Anonymous:
Hi! I need some advice. How do you stop comparing yourself to other people? Some days, I just feel like I'll never be good enough for anyone. This really hit me hard the other day when this dude who was close to me, end up being interested with my own friend. I wish it didn't matter, but somehow, it did. I just want to be, good enough, ya know?

iexcuseyourface:

Hi bby, the thing about comparing yourself to others is, almost everyone does it. It may even be without our knowledge, but when we go outside we’re unconsciously looking around to see how other people are doing in comparison to us.

The issue is that while criticism can be good at times, here it’s only hurting you. Truly, I think the best way to stop doing this is to accept all of your faults as well as your strengths. If you understand that you’re not a perfect being, and that you’re going to have faults you’ll start to realize that others do too. Acceptance is the first step to understanding how yourself and others differ, and why that’s okay.

No one is completely like you, you’re unique compared to every other individual because no one is exactly the same. Which is amazing when you think about it, you’re one of a kind. Of course there will be people who seem to have it all and more, who seem better, prettier, more successful than you. While this seems daunting, I think you should remember the quote “Don’t compare your chapter 1 to someone else’s chapter 20”. It seems silly, and overused but it’s so important because we constantly look down upon ourselves for things that are out of our control. Yes, other people may be more successful but different things happen in everyone’s lives, it’s how you deal with those events that define you.

You’re not meant to be like every other person, you’re meant to be exactly like you. You’re going to feel self conscious some days, and others you may feel on top of the world. That’s just one of the downsides to being human: we are flawed, and we notice far too much. Try to remember that you’re a work in progress, you’re constantly changing and adapting to your ever growing environment. The best you can ever do for yourself is try your hardest and realize that you are doing great. As long as you keep trying to better yourself day by day—whether that be by giving more compliments, or holding open that door for someone—you’re constantly trying and that is what’s important.

We may never stop comparing ourselves, but maybe that isn’t such a bad thing. Comparing yourself, but understanding that the other person may be at a different point and still has their own faults is the key. No human is perfect, literally no one. So the person that seems on top of the world may be crying inside, you just don’t know it. Understanding that others are going through so many different things, just as you are, helps you take them off the pedestal you’re silently putting them on.

You are fine just the way you are, and over time you will see that we are all working towards a goal, and if you try your best you will never be disappointed in yourself to the point of negative comparison. Simply because you know that you’re doing your best to get where you want in life. Continue on a positive path, and realize that you are fighting every day, and every day that you get up and go is when you win another battle. No other person is exactly like you, and that is a great thing. Only you have the power to change what you want in your own life, and only you have the power to accept things about yourself, good and bad. <3

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"Note to self: every time you were convinced you couldn’t go on, you did."
(107/365) by (DS)
3 days ago with notes (288700)    via (root)



"

It always fascinates me when I meet a woman who says she is not a feminist.

(1) On average women are paid 19% less than men
(2) In the US a man who raped a woman who was HIV positive, contracted the disease himself & went on to try and sue her
(3) 77% of anti-abortion leaders are men.. 100% of them will never be pregnant
(4) In certain cultures, babies and children have their genitals mutilated in order to become more desirable to their future husband
(5) We live in a society that teaches women how to protect themselves against rape rather than teaching people that rape is not acceptable
(6) The focus in court cases of violence/sex crime against women is always ‘what could she have done to prevent it?’
(7) Songs that glorify rape and sexual violence against women still top the charts again and again
(8) In China, female fetuses are aborted because they are seen to be useless to their family
(9) Over summer, many secondary schools told their female students they could not wear certain items of clothing because it distracted the male students
(10) Across the world girls as young as 6 are forced to marry men sometimes 10 times their age or face death at the hands of their family
(11) The media constantly commentate on women’s appearance, not achievements
(12) 85% of victims of sex trafficking are women
(13) Virginity was a concept created by men, who decided their penis’ were so important they changed the fundamental structure of a woman

Is all of that okay with you?
It shouldn’t be.

"
Forget what i’m going to teach my daughter. What are you going to teach your son? (via be-fearless-brave-and-kind)
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1 week ago with notes (1764)    via (root)



Get Flat Abs in a Dorm Room! 

fit-personality:

image

The shirt I’m wearing in above picture says “Schmidt Happens”. And you know what? Schmidt does happen. LIKE THE FRESHMAN FIFTEEN. If you are entering college for the first time or are just continuing onto another year of binge drinking and stressing over finals, sometimes you just need a good workout

Why do you need to do an ab workout in your room? Maybe the pouring down rain is preventing you to walk to the athletic center. Maybe your school doesn’t even have a gym. Maybe your school’s gym is so packed with frat daddies fighting over the squat rack and ellipticals that you would rather just not attend. Regardless, here is a kick ass ab workout you can do in your dorm room.

Read More

1 week ago with notes (911)    via (root)



Anxiety & Panic Masterpost

these-dandelion-wishes:

image

I put together all the links I had from other posts into one, so that they would be more easy to access. I hope this helps at least one of you. <3

CHEERING UP

Gives Me Hope // Emergency Compliment // Random Acts of Kindness // Random Acts of…

1 week ago with notes (16581)    via (root)



"

A List of “Men’s Rights” Issues That Feminism Is Already Working On

Feminists do not want you to lose custody of your children. The assumption that women are naturally better caregivers is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not like commercials in which bumbling dads mess up the laundry and competent wives have to bustle in and fix it. The assumption that women are naturally better housekeepers is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want anyone to be falsely accused of rape. False rape accusations discredit rape victims, which reinforces rape culture, which is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want you to have to pay for dinner. We want the opportunity to achieve financial success on par with men in any field we choose (and are qualified for), and the fact that we currently don’t is part of patriarchy. The idea that men should coddle and provide for women, and/or purchase their affections in romantic contexts, is condescending and damaging and part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want you to commit suicide. Any pressures and expectations that lower the quality of life of any gender are part of patriarchy. The fact that depression is characterized as an effeminate weakness, making men less likely to seek treatment, is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want you to be viewed with suspicion when you take your child to the park (men frequently insist that this is a serious issue, so I will take them at their word). The assumption that men are insatiable sexual animals, combined with the idea that it’s unnatural for men to care for children, is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want you to be drafted and then die in a war while we stay home and iron stuff. The idea that women are too weak to fight or too delicate to function in a military setting is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want women to escape prosecution on legitimate domestic violence charges, nor do we want men to be ridiculed for being raped or abused. The idea that women are naturally gentle and compliant and that victimhood is inherently feminine is part of patriarchy.

Feminists hate patriarchy. We do not hate you.

If you really care about those issues as passionately as you say you do, you should be thanking feminists, because feminism is a social movement actively dedicated to dismantling every single one of them. The fact that you blame feminists—your allies—for problems against which they have been struggling for decades suggests that supporting men isn’t nearly as important to you as resenting women. We care about your problems a lot. Could you try caring about ours?

"
Excerpt from If I Admit That Hating Men is a Thing, Will You Stop Turning it Into a Self-fulfilling Prophecy?, by Lindy West (via angerr)
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2 weeks ago with notes (179674)    via (root)



ALH